


I'll Protect you, I Swear  (Alternate title: "Don't ever let me go")

by Jakey_kun



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Best Friends, Bruises, Comfort, Complete, Cute little 6 year olds, Epilogue, Hugs, I warned you about those stairs, I'm so happy guys, Marriage, Short Chapters, Very happy endings, abuse :(, children! - Freeform, cuTIEPIES, happy endings, not graphic though, read the end notes!, reconnecting, sad for a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-03-13 10:10:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3377627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakey_kun/pseuds/Jakey_kun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She looks tired. Sapped of energy, her normally exuberant face drooping at the corners, like a worn puppet with no strings.<br/>Jake runs over grabbing her leg and resting his head on her hip, voice muffled by her clothing, “Why don’t we just fight him?” </p>
<p>She hugs his shoulders, exhaustion seeping from her every pore, “Because sometimes, my love, fighting will never be enough.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rette Mich

**Author's Note:**

> So hey guys, I'm not dead! Only took me a couple days.. weeks... okay months to get myself together long enough to start something new. I actually will end up finishing the other stories, and even though I say that every time, I mean it. It just might take a while.. 
> 
> P.S. I'm sorry about this one. There may be a ton of spelling/grammatical/ and punctuational errors that I'm just too lazy to look for at the moment. If you do spot any, feel free to tell me about them. :) 
> 
> P.P.S Jake and Grams are living in Bronx, Ny just because, and Gram can't afford a babysitter or kindergarten, so that's why Jakey stays at home while she works. (Just go with it)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk shake his head, looking furiously at the ground, “I fell down the stairs.”  
> Jake pulls him forward and hugs Dirk with all the strength in his little 6-year- old body, and whisper promises like, “I’ll protect you” and “never again,” knowing deep down that there was no way Dirk had fallen down the steps to the apartment complex. If Jake notices the wet patch on his shoulder and the sniffling from the blonde, he doesn’t say a word.

  
_Jake English sits in his apartment building alone waiting for his grandmother to arrive home from work. Before she’d left, she’d fixed him with a stern expression and warned him not to open the door for anybody until she got back, unless it was an emergency. Jake had only shrugged his little shoulders, disregarding the notion as silly. He was already seven, old enough to take care of himself. The only people he knew anyway were his grandma and his best friend Dirk, but shh, because Gramma doesn’t know about him yet._

 

    The two boys had met exactly a month ago, after Jake and his Gram had finished moving in. Upon hearing several loud thumps and the slam of a door, Jake had peered outside for the noise maker. All he saw though, was a boy about his age, curled up in front of the neighbor’s door, hugging his knees to his chest. Curious, he left his room, walking quickly down the hallway to get to the boy. By the time Jake had reached him, the other was staring back at him just as curiously.  
“Who are you?” The boy’s voice was soft and raspy, but pleasant.  
  
“I’m Jake, I’m 6. I live in 3-7. Who are you?”

 The boy hesitates, looking behind himself at the closed door before turning back to the waiting male, “I’m Dirk, I’m 6 too, and I live here.”  
Jake smiles, showing off the pearly whites that’ll eventually need a lot of dental care, “Do you want to play with me?”

Dirk smiles too, though not as brightly, and opens his mouth to reply. Before he can, the sound of a handle turning interrupts them and a scarred hand clamps down on his shoulders with a low growl,“Hey brat, get in here. I only have so much patience and you’re treading real heavily on it.”  
  
Jake wants to ask if Dirk knows this person, but he looks sort of frozen and scared so he decides he’ll ask him later. The mean man pulls Dirk to his feet and pushes him roughly inside. Jake slowly backs up, thinking that the man will come for him next if he’s not careful. He turns to run but the man’s voice freezes him in his tracks.  
  
“Hey Kid,” Jake doesn’t want to turn around, but he can feel the man standing right behind him so he does. The man leans in, reeking of curdled milk and onions, “If I catch you hanging around my boy again, you’ll regret it.”  
  
Jake whimpers, nodding furiously, waiting for the man to go back in before he bolts into his apartment and locks the door, jumping onto his bed and curling up. Taking deep breaths, he starts to relax when a loud thump sounds by his ear, the same as earlier. Jolting, he looks around wildly before realizing that it came from next door. He hears it again, this time accompanied by an angry yell and a familiar whimper.

_It takes 30 minutes for the thumps, slaps, and cries to stop. During that time, Jake makes up his mind that no matter how mean and smelly that man had been, he was going to protect Dirk. They were going to be best friends._       

* * *

 

   

          The next day, Jake listens closely, ear against the wall for the sound of heavy footsteps and a slamming door. His grandmother has already left for the day so he has free reign once again of the apartment. When he feels that the coast is clear, he runs next door and knocks carefully on the bottom half of the door. “Dirk?

It’s silent for a few moments until a quiet voice answers, “Go away, Jake.”

“No, I gotta talk to you.”

“You’ll get me in trouble with my dad, please just go..”

“No I won’t! I promise, c’mon Dirk, we’re best friends now.” Another silence stretches between them, shorter this time, before the sound of the handle turning and Dirk’s blonde, fluffy head peering out at him interrupts it. Jake gasps and he reaches out to touch Dirk’s face; dark purple bruises dotting his cheeks and lining his jaw. “Did your daddy do this to you?”

Dirk shake his head, looking furiously at the ground, “I fell down the stairs.”  
Jake pulls him forward and hugs Dirk with all the strength in his little 6-year- old body, and whisper promises like “I’ll protect you” and “never again,” knowing deep down that there was no way Dirk had fallen down the steps to the apartment complex. If Jake notices the wet patch on his shoulder and the sniffling from the blonde, he doesn’t say a word.


	2. Cassé

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once, and only once did he try to ignore it. Tried to pretend that the muffled screams asking for mercy and help from anyone listening were nothing but part of the background.

  
_“I’ll protect you,” Jake had said. “He’ll never hurt you again!” What a load of bull. It’s been 8 years. 8 freaking years and the only protecting Jake’s ever done was stop bullies at school from getting close enough to even breathe on Dirk. It took a while to figure it out, but Jake knows he does it to compensate. Fight a few tormentors here and there to make up for the way he sits powerless on his bed listening to Dirk’s dad beat the living bollocks out of him night after night. Once, and only once did he try to ignore it. Tried to pretend that the muffled screams asking for mercy and help from anyone listening were nothing but part of the background._  
 _The crying was the worst. They weren’t desperate and meaningless. They didn’t ask “what”. Those would have been easier to ignore. Instead, they were deep and gut-wrenching, coming from the deepest part of Dirk and clawing their way out. Soft, but powerful, seeming to shake their entire complex on its miserable, loveless foundation with their broken emotion._   
Jake buries his face in his hands, leaning against the wall. He needs to think about something else, go through memories so he won't break down. He can’t break. He needs to be strong. For Dirk.   
  
  
**Age 8**   
_“Gramma?”_  
  
_“Yes Jake?”_  
  
_“Why am I the only one who hears Dirk and his Daddy?” A dish drops in the kitchen, glass skittering across the smooth wooden floor._  
  
_“Gramma!”_  
  
_It’s ok, Jake. I’m fine, stay in the living room please.”  A silence fills the apartment, broken only by the sound of a broom sweeping up little pieces of glassware. “You’re not the only one who can hear them.”_  
  
_Jake blinks, turning his attention to the empty doorway of the kitchen. “Why doesn’t anyone ever try to help then?”_  
  
_A sigh, “It’s complicated, Pumpkin.”_  
  
_“Ooh.” Jake doesn’t know what that means but it sounds important. “Why, G’ma?”_  
  
_Another sigh; a long exhalation of breath. “Mr. Strider is a powerful man, Jakey. He has a lot of money, and a lot of authority. Because of this people tend to cast a blind eye to what he does, even if it means ignoring his child.”_  
  
_“Even if he’s in pain?”_  
  
_“Even then, Pumpkin.” His grandma steps into the doorway of the kitchen leaning against the frame , still clutching the broom in her fingers. She looks tired. Sapped of energy, her normally exuberant face drooping at the corners, like a worn puppet with no strings._  
 _Jake runs over grabbing her leg and resting his head on her hip, voice muffled by her clothing, “Why don’t we just fight him?”_  
  
_She hugs his shoulders, exhaustion seeping from her every pore, “Because sometimes, my love, fighting will never be enough.”_  
  
  
He’d tried so many times after that to encourage the other people in the building to help him get Dirk to safety. They did nothing other than escort him back to his apartment in silence, casting fearful glances at apartment 3-6.

 

 **Age 10**  
_“Jake?” The strained voice comes from outside the door, shaky and thick._  
  
_“Dirk? I’m here.” Jake opens up and lets him in, looking both ways before closing the door quietly behind them. Dirk winces when sits down too fast on the couch, hissing in pain._  
  
_“Dirk?” Jake’s eyes roam him, checking for any abrasions or aberrations, “What’s wrong?”  He whispers,” Was it your dad?”_  
  
_The boy on the couch nods once, a sharp jerky thing that does more harm than good as he winces once more._  
  
_“Show me. Now, Mister!”_  
  
_Dirk gives him a look, still being defiant even through his pain. When Jake only raises his eyebrows in response, Dirk pulls up his shirt slowly, careful not to move too much.  The brunette gasps, feeling nauseous. There’s a criss-cross of dark blue, purple, and yellow bruises covering his torso from hipbone to an inch below his collarbone. Most are new and puffy, while the others have faded to a mottled yellow. It’s someone’s twisted fantasy, beautiful in the way the bruises line his skin like petals on a flower, but terrible in every other.  Jake drops to his knees next to him, brushing a light finger over the discolored skin, looking at Dirk in horror. The blonde stares back silently pleading with him not to ask._

  
_“You’re staying here tonight. We’re gonna have a sleepover.”_  
  
_“What? I can’t.. You know he’ll be mad.”_  
  
_“It doesn’t matter! I’ll make Gramma talk to him when she comes home. She’s not scared of him.”_  
  
_“Okay.. but If he says no, I have to go.”_  
  
_Jake nods and holds Dirk’s hand in his as he can’t do much else without hurting him._  
  
_The time they spend waiting for Jake’s Grandma is used cheering Dirk up to the point where his voice grows loud with excitement and he laughs with abandon, seeming to forget about his injuries unless he moves too quickly for comfort. When Gram finally arrives, Jake explains with all the seriousness a 10 year old can have that there’s no way he’s gonna let Dirk go back home until they have a sleepover. She smiles sadly at them and excuses herself into the kitchen to call Dirk’s dad. Pieces of the conversation drift through the open doorway._  
  
_“He’s 10, Dave. Let him be a child for once!”_  
  
_“Yes, and I don’t care, call every-”_  
  
_“I refuse to be cowed by you, you inconsiderate Jac-”_  
  
_“Go sober up, right now!  What would Laura think?”_  
  
_“.....Goodbye, Dave.”_  
  
_A beep cuts off any response the person on the other line would have made. Jake’s Grandma comes out of the kitchen, a mix of emotions loud and clear on her face. When she sees the two boys staring at her, she instantly schools her features into a strained smile. “Dirk?”_  
  
_The boy in question swallows, looking at her fearfully, “Yes ma’am?”_  
  
_Gramma smiles genuinely, putting him at ease. “Are you ready to have the best sleepover ever?”_  
  
_Jake and Dirk both cheer and thank his Gramma; Jake excitedly giving her a hug and Dirk expressing his gratitude with a smile._  
  
For a while, everything seemed to be right where it should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh boy, that was a doozy..


	3. Nou amor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He drops back down onto the balls of his feet and pulls off his newly acquired glasses. He offers them to Jake, letting the other boy hold them and toy with the temples, before saying shyly, “You can try them on.. but be careful, ok? My dad just got them for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated~ Yass.

  
**Age 13**   
  
_“ Jake!” The person on the other side of the door knocks a multitude of times, “Open up!”_  
  
_Jake laughs, running to the door and unlocking the bolt, pulling open the handle. “What is it, Dirk? You’re so impatient.”_  
  
_The blonde practically bo unces inside, giggling. He stands in front of Jake, practically vibrating with joy. Jake frowns and puts his hands on Dirk’s shoulders, holding him in place, ‘Dirk? What’s going on? You’re not acting like yourself.”_  
  
_“Do you notice anything different about me, Jake?” Dirk grins, tilting his head at all angles._  
  
_“Urm, you’ve styled your hair differently?”_  
  
_The blonde huffs and tip-toes, getting closer to Jake’s face, “No.. Look at these!” He drops back down onto the balls of his feet and pulls off his newly acquired glasses. He offers them to Jake, letting the other boy hold them and toy with the temples, before saying shyly, “You can try them on.. but be careful, ok? My dad just got them for me.”_  
  
_Jake looks up sharply, handing back the triangular objects like Dirk had told him they were the plague incarnate. “Dirk..”_  
  
_“No, I know what you’re going to say Jake, but.. I think he’s getting better.. He hasn’t hit me really this week and then he gave me these.. I think.. Maybe he’s sorry, and can love me now, like a real dad..” Dirk bites his lip, looking hopefully up into rich green eyes. “I really want him to love me, Jake.”_  
  
_The brunette catches himself before he can say anything stupid, the look of hope in Dirk’s eyes is too much for him. He can’t hurt Dirk, even if he knows that this peace won’t last. He puts on a smile, hoping the other can’t see how thin and fake it is, and hugs Dirk tightly, resting his cheek on the top of Dirk’s head.  “That’s great, mate.. I do believe that this will be a new start for he and you. Before you know it, you won’t even remember how he used to hurt you.”_  
  
_Dirk stiffens and pulls away, mouth pinched and voice quiet, “You don’t think that this is real, do you?”_  
  
_“It’s not that. I-It just feels like it’s too good to be true.. Why would he suddenly decide to stop after all these years?”_  
  
_The pinched mouth relaxes, and the blonde grabs Jake by the waist, wrapping thin arms around his middle, “Does it matter? I just want this to be over.. Please be happy for me?” He leans his head on Jake’s chest, twisting them side to side softly._  
  
_“I will mate, I am..”_  
  
_A new voice breaks in as someone else knocks on the apartment door, “Dirk? Are you in there?”_  
  
_The boy in question pulls away from their embrace, beaming, his eyes shining. “I gotta go, Jake. He said he’d take me to Six flags. I’ll see you later tonight! Wish me luck.”  Dirk  runs to the door and throws it open, waving at Jake as he steps into the hallway towards his Dad. His smile is the last thing Jake sees before the door closes behind him, clicking shut._  
  


* * *

  
  
_“Go ahead and say ‘I told you so’. You were right. He hasn’t changed.   As soon as we got to Six Flags, ‘Daddy dearest’ bought himself one beer after another. We only stayed in the park for 30 minutes. 30 minutes before he decided that his knuckled would look better bruised. How could I have been so stupid?” Dirk glances over his shoulder at Jake, sending him a bitter smile. He hisses harshly as Jake rubs Arnica over his darkening, bruised back._  
  
_“You’re not stupid. He’s the stupid one for hurting you like this-”_  
 _“Ow, Jake.”_  
 _“Then promising things he can’t give you and filling you with false hope-”_  
 _“Jake, calm down!”_  
 _I mean, you’re his son, dadblast-it!”_  
 _“JAKE!”_  
  
_The brunette looks down, his angry rant trailing off as he realizes he’d been pressing on the bruise with more force than necessary, causing it to darken even more while Dirk’s face paled, “I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t mean to..”_  
  
_“It’s fine, I know you didn’t mean to,” The blonde cuts him off, turning around to touch Jake’s arm in consolation. He stares at Jake, unmoving for what seems like an eternity, before cautiously climbing onto his lap, “It’s okay.. I m-mean.. Is this ok?”_  
  
_Jake nods once, slowly putting his arms around Dirk’s shoulders to give him some support, “Of course.” Dirk leans in; eyes flickering down to Jake’s mouth then catching his eyes again, before he is stopped with a gentle hand against his chest, “Why are you doing this? If you’re trying to make me feel better about hurting you, you really shouldn’t be. Your first kiss isn’t something you give away lightly.”_  
  
_Dirk’s cheeks turn a pretty pink, and he looks away, huffing hotly, “I’m not doing it because of that, I’m doing it because I like you.” He looks down at his hands, twisting his fingers nervously, “You’re the only person who cares about me Jake.. Nobody else tries to help me.. they’re all too afraid of Dad getting them fired or something else. You’re always there for me..”_  
  
_Jake barely has time to wonder about all of this before a pair of lips is on his. His eyes widen, first in shock then soften at Dirk’s admittedly adorable expression; his eyes are scrunched tight, and his cheeks are still that beautiful pink.  “Dirk,” Jake thinks,”I know you can’t hear me right now but.. I’ll always be there for you. I might not be strong enough yet, or old enough, but I promise that I will take you away from here. I’m going to take care of you.”_  
  
_If the two notice they break their kiss flustered and apple red from exertion and embarrassment, neither of them say anything to the other._


	4. Una Sorpresa ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you remember that key I gave you? Do you still have it?”

  
_**Age 17**_  
  
_The moment he turned 17, you were there, right outside his apartment door, knocking loudly, knowing that Dave wasn’t home. Dirk’d answered the door grumpily, barely keeping his eyes open enough to ask what you wanted. You’d only wished him a happy birthday, and handed him a key ring with a key marked with a J.  When he asked you what it was for, you simply smiled and kissed his forehead, pushing him gently in the direction of his bedroom, closing the door behind him. From inside you could hear the weak sounds of protesting and the soft jingle of the key against the metal ring before Dirk makes his way out of hearing range._  
  
  
**_Age 19_ **  
  
_“Jake.. Where are we going?” Dirk leans into you, taking your hand as you lead him to your car._  
  
_“You’ll see when we get there, Love. I have a really big surprise for you.” You smile brightly and escort him to the passenger’s side, before hopping into the driver’s._  
 _He nods and settles himself in his seat-belt. “Oh? What’s the occasion,” he questions slyly, prodding you to see if you remember that today is his birthday. Of course you remember, but, you can’t ruin the surprise. You drive around for a bit until you reach a gravel driveway with a lovely fence on either side of it. You pull into it, casually checking Dirk’s face. You see nothing but confusion._ Perfect.   
  
_“Where are we?”_  
  
_You ignore his question and put the car in park, jumping out and motioning for your boyfriend to do the same. He does so, with a lot less enthusiasm, you note, and leans against the side of your car, arms crossed, face stoic. You practically skip over to him, and take his hands. “Do you remember that key I gave you? Do you still have it?”_  
  
_His expression softens and he nods, pulling out his wallet and retrieves the key from inside, “Course.”_  
  
_“Well, welcome to the surprise.” You lead him farther up the driveway to a cozy, modest-sized cottage with stone-brown brick walls and an off-white roof. The  cottage is lined with some of Dirk’s favorite flowers, and the door is painted green. It’s cheery and has a little bit of both of you mixed in, and you absolutely adore it._  


**  
**_“Jake? What is this?”  Oh no. He doesn’t look happy. Oh bother, you really should have told him earlier. You start to ramble on, “Well, you know how when we were 16 we had start planning stuff about our future, even though we were so young? Well, I had wanted to surprise you with a house, so I started working on it, and buying furniture,  I mean I don’t want to assume that you’ll want to live with me, but Dirk, it’s just so perfect. Look at it, it’s our dream house. If you don’t love it I’ll take it back.. Well not actually, but I’ll sell it and we’ll get something better, just please day somethi- **mm?!”** _   _****You’re cut off by a pair of lips pressing hard onto yours. After a few moments of kissing, you pull away breathlessly. “So.. Do you like it?”_  
  
_Dirk smiles, big enough that you swear you hear something crack, and it feels like everything you’ve been waiting for for 13 years has come to you all in one instant. You grin back and he nods, ferociously, “Of course I love it. I want to live with you, and only you. This is better than anything I could have imagined.” He sighs happily and wraps his arms around you and squeezes gently. “Can we go inside?”_  
  
_You chuckle and point at the object in his hand. “You have the key. Oh, and Dirk?” You stop him from rushing to the door with a hand to his arm._  
  
_“Hm?”_  
  
_“Happy Birthday.”_  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, I can write happy chapters! :DD


	5. Tús Nua

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘I heard you two got married.” 
> 
> “We did. It was beautiful. Now cut the crap, Dave, and answer his question.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.. We made it. I don't know how many times I cried, but it was worth it. Hopefully you guys liked it as much as I did. Thank you all for reading and kudosing and commenting and what not. :DD
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. I'm sorry and it gets better. 
> 
> P.P.S. READ THE END NOTES!!!!!

**Age 35- Present.**   
  
“Jake? Sweetheart, can you please get the door? I have to finish getting ready or else we’ll be late.” You chuckle softly as you answer the door. The two of you had gotten married last week in London. You’d wanted to see your extended family, and Dirk had wanted to meet them. You’d gotten back last night, and had planned on taking your grandmother, and local friends out for a ‘I’m sorry you missed our wedding, here are some pictures,’ dinner.    
  
“Hello? How can I- What are you doing here,” you growl quietly, not wanting Dirk to hear, “Go away and leave us alone.”  
  
“Look, I can explain. I just wan-”  
  
“I don’t want your explanations. Leave.”  
  
“Jake,” Dirk calls, “Who’s at the door?”   
  
You glare at the offender on your doorstep, “No one!”   
  
He laughs,” I know you’re talking to someone. I heard you.” You can hear his footsteps coming closer, and in a desperate attempt to make the source of the problem disappear, you close the door on it. “Jake?” Dirk comes around the corner and you smile nervously at him. “Who was that?”  Before you can respond, he nudges past you and opens the door, smile disappearing when he sees who’s on the other side.  All you can do is hold Dirk’s hand tightly. He’s so much stronger than you, but you know this is hard on him too. To anyone else, he looks cool, calm, and collected, but you’ve been around him too long to know that he’s anything but. His hand is shaking in yours,the muscle in his jaw won’t stop jumping, and he’s swallowing just a bit too hard. “Dad. How did you find us?”   
  
“Can I just come in? Please.. I can explain everything.” Dave shivers in the cold night air, but you don’t feel sorry for him one bit. Narrowing your eyes at him, you do your best to convey that he’s not going to move an inch until he has Dirk’s permission.      
  
“..Okay.”   
  
His answer shocks the both of you, going from Dave’s startled face, but Dirk stands by it, stepping to the side to let him in.   
  
“Cute little place you guys got here.” Dave walks through the hallway slowly, glancing at the pictures of the two of you on the walls. He stops at the snapshot taken of you and Dirk after you’d had your first proper date during college. You had been laughing like goons,  and Dirk had put his arm around your waist, while you kissed his cheek. The picture brings back a lot of happy memories you’d rather not dwell on with the spawn of evil right in front of you.   
  
Dirk clears his throat, and you nudge Dave on. “Sit.”   
  
"Do I look like a frickin' dog, English?"  
  
You snort and get ready to tell him what kind of animal he really is, when Dirk interrupts, folding his shades and placing them in the collar of his shirt. “What are you doing here, Dad? I thought you were in prison.”  
  
‘I heard you two got married.”   
  
“We did. It was beautiful. Now cut the crap, Dave, and answer his question.”   
  
  
A muscle in Dave’s jaw ticks. “I got out early for good behavior, actually… Look Dirk, I’ve had a lot of time to think, okay?  You tend to do that when your son gets you incarcerated.” He says it more calmly than you would have expected, more like he’s stating a couple of interesting facts, than the last 8 years of his life. he pushes his shades up as well, and stares Dirk right in the eyes, “I know I wasn’t a good father. I.. Hurt you, and I know it was wrong… I just.. couldn’t help myself.. When you were born, I was terrified. I was only 18, and I didn’t want to be a dad. I thought I was going to screw it up. So I drank. I had a couple beers here and there and let your mom take care of you. Eventually she got tired of it and left. So I drank more. Instead of one or two, I started drinking a full 8-pack everyday. Eventually I became an alcoholic. When you were younger, you always liked to tag along and follow me, and whenever I looked at you, all I saw was your mom, and I couldn’t take it. I was so angry at her for leaving, and angry at myself, and I took it out on you. I didn’t realize it until I’d had some time to think about my life, clearheaded for once.”  
  
  
Dirk snorts and it’s an ugly, harsh sound. “So that’s it? You think just because you come in and give me a crack-shoot apology that I’m just going to forgive you?  You _abused_ me, verbally, physically, and emotionally. You made me feel like I was pathetic for _years_ , and you think you can just waltz in and everything’s magically forgiven?!”  
  
Dirk’s voice has been getting progressively louder until he’s practically screaming, and you’re honestly scared for a second. “No, it doesn’t work that way, _Dad.”_  
  
The word is spit with a twisted sneer, like it’s the most derogatory name in creation. You’re worried about him, but you know he has to do this. He’s been holding all this fear, this pain in for years, and you know there’s nothing you can do for him besides hold your tongue. It’s a flood of emotions and you’re locked in for the ride.   
  
“You made me your personal punching bag. I couldn’t look in the mirror for weeks after I showered because of you. I’m in therapy because of you, trying to get over my self-esteem issues I’ve carried into adulthood because you treated me like I was nothing.”   
  
He stops talking to catch his breath, and Dave speaks up, “I’m sorry, Dirk. I’m so so sorry.” His voice cracks, and his fingers twitch like he wants to reach out and touch his son.  
  
Dirk continues like he hasn’t said a thing. “Do you remember the day I won my middle school science fair? Because I do. I came home, excited, hoping you might be proud of me for once. Instead, you hit me so hard you broke one of ribs. Do you know what you said to me that night, as you left me bleeding on the floor? I remember it well. ‘You ain’t nothin’, and you ain’t ever gonna be nothin', Dirk.’” He laughs once, a high sharp barking laugh and you feel sick to your stomach.    
  
Dirk suddenly breaks eye contact with Dave and looks down, taking a ragged breath. It’s quiet for a few minutes, until he looks back up. When he does, you’re mildly surprised to see tears brimming in his eyes. Your husband isn’t a crier, but on the rare occasions that he does shed a few tears, you know it’s something serious. “You know what I found out, though? You were wrong. I am something. I am somebody. I Graduated college at the top of my class, I found out what it was like to be happy. And I did it all without you. So if there’s nothing else you want to say, get out, and don’t bother us again.” With that, he squares his shoulders and wipes his eyes, and you’ve never been more proud of him in your entire life. You walk over and give him support by wrapping one arm around his waist and letting him lean on you. That took a lot out of him, and you know it.   
  
You both turn to Dave, waiting for him to make the next move. Surprising both of you, he gets up and makes his way to the front door. Before he touches the knob, he turns back and glances at both of you, and you can see he’s crying too. “I know I’ve done a lot of bad things, and I never apologized for any of it. I hurt you over and over, and you took it all without complaint. I was wrong on so many accounts, and I know nothing I ever say will make up for the pain I’ve caused you, but I am so so sorry, Dirk. I love you so much, my beautiful baby boy.” He stops and looks at you next, and your anger at him falters underneath his teary gaze, “Thank you for taking care of him, you’ve done everything that I couldn’t. I’m so happy that it’s you he chose. Congratulations, and goodbye.” You nod, and he opens the door. He’s halfway out when-  
  
“Wait.”   
  
Dave pauses, and you look over to see Dirk, playing with his lip nervously.   
  
“I don’t forgive you. I don’t know if I ever will.”  
  
Dave nods, a tiny shift of movement, and clears his throat. “Understood.”  
  
“But you’re still my Dad, and you’ve been a dick long enough. It’s time to start making up for it.”   
  
“Does.. uh, does that mean that I?”  
  
Dirk nods once, and when he speaks again, you all pretend you don’t hear the little tremble in his voice, “Be here  tomorrow morning. We’re going to eat breakfast., and talk. Like a family.”   
  
Dave turns around slowly, a large smile, the first you’ve ever seen, on his face, “I wouldn’t dream of missing it.”   
  
After a few more minutes of discussing times, and if he should bring anything, the two say goodbye, and Dave leaves, making it out of the door this time. Once the lock clicks into place, you pull Dirk into your chest, holding him and rubbing his back. He collapses against you, all of his former emotional strength gone. You kiss his forehead and hug him a little tighter. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.”  
  
He peeks up at you, and accidentally knocks his shades off. “You are?”  
  
“Mmhm, I’ve never met a stronger man in all my life.”  
  
“Jake..”  
  
“Hush, it’s true. I don’t know anyone who would’ve handled it as calmly as you did. I admire you so much, I hope you know.”  
  
He doesn’t say anything as he rests his head on your chest again, but you can see the tips of his ears turning red.   
  


* * *

  
  
Later that night, after Dirk’s tucked into bed, and you’ve contacted all of your friends and told them not to worry about the two of you, you find yourself looking the picture Dave had looked at earlier. You study your faces respectively. You both look relatively happy, but there’s a trace of fear on Dirk’s face that you didn’t see earlier, and even though you look overjoyed, you notice your eyes a well of worry. Frowning, you look for the picture of the two of you taken at your wedding, and the smile returns to your face. All you see is pure, unadulterated joy. Dirk looked beautiful in his black tuxedo, and his eyes are shining happily. No fear, no anxiety. Nothing else but a radiant smile. Then there’s you. Even though you aren’t the most observant person, you can’t help but see the love pouring out of your eyes. You stay for a moment longer, thinking, before you head off to bed.   
  
Walking into your shared room, you watch Dirk’s sleeping face in the moonlight. He’s frowning slightly in his sleep, so you strip down to your underwear and climb in bed with him. You wake him as you wrap your arms around him, and he snuggles into you, yawning, “Something the matter?”   
  
You smile and kiss the back of his neck. “How could it be? I have you.”   
  
Dirk snorts quietly, “Cheeseball. Don’t say stuff you don’t mean.”   
  
You laugh softly, “My love, I’ve never meant anything more in my life.”   
  
He doesn’t reply, but when he slips his hand inside of your and clasps your fingers together, you know he feels the exact same way.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so if you have any questions, find me and ask me. I do have answers for some things I might have left out though.
> 
> * What are the chapter names? 
> 
> 1.Save me- German 2. Broken- French 3. New love- Italian 4. One surprise (The title is used with the female pronunciation) -Spanish 5. New Start- Irish.
> 
> *Why Does Dirk still want Dave around?
> 
> I feel like Dirk is the kind of person that values family more than the average person. Growing up he spent all of his time and effort doing his best to please Dave, no matter how often he got rejected. 
> 
> *Why don't you mention Jade or Dirk's mother?
> 
> Unfortunately, Jade died a couple months after Dirk and Jake left for college. Jake didn't find out until summer break. He refused to talk to anyone except Dirk after that. Dirk's mother was the primary caretaker. She got pregnant at 17, married Dave at her parent's request, and dropped out of high school to get a job. Sometime after Dirk was born, she eventually got tired of working a thankless job, and coming home to a crying baby and a drunk teenage husband. So she got her stuff, gave custody to Dave, and left. No one has heard from her, even though Dirk has tried to track her many-a-time. 
> 
> *How did Jake afford to get the house?
> 
> He worked multiple jobs, and different shifts, doing anything he could find. he mowed lawns, sold lemonade, worked at a restaurant, walked pets, and moved boxes and furniture.


	6. Fanmi Mwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE MINI EPILOGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's going to be a surprise mini epilogue, because I love epilogues, and this was seriously my favorite chapter to write. They're all so happy!

**40 years**  
  
Your name is Dirk Strider, and you’d never thought you’d ever make it to this point. You survived an abusive childhood and adolescence.  You’ve taken therapy to get over your issues and they’re finally starting to go away. You own your own house.  You rekindled your relationship with your father. You’ve also married your best friend (No matter how many times you say it, you can’t get over the fact that it’s real. You love Jake English more than anything, even though you don’t tell him that as often as you should). Now you’re at the next milestone of your life.  You and Jake are going to have children.  
  
“Dirk? They said we could swing by at 2 today.”   
  
Of course, you know that you’re not physically capable of having children. The possibility of that would be approximately 0.0000000000000010% in your current state. However, you’ve called several adoption centers and orphanages in hopes that you and Jake would be able to make an appointment and stop by. Unfortunately, after several days of trying, it has come to your attention that most adoption agencies prefer to have their children signed over to straight couples. Shocker.   Nonetheless, you’ve finally found a center who doesn’t care about your sexuality and has agreed to let you come by.   
  
“Alright, what time is it now?”  
  
“Um.. 1:26.”  
  
“Jake!”  
  
You hear him laughing as you flee to the bathroom to get ready. You don’t even have time for a shower, which you’ll make Jake pay for later. Grumbling to yourself about limp hair and dirty bodies, you take petty revenge by using Jake’s body spray and slipping on some of his clean clothes. They’re a little large, but right now you couldn’t give a crap. After the two of you make it out of the house (him sulking about his clothes, and you telling him to get over it), you drive over to Skaia Adoption Center. Parking the car, you get out and take Jake’s hand. He looks at you solemnly, as if asking ‘are you sure you want to do this?’. You squeeze his hand and give him a half-smile, and the two of you push open the double doors, and enter the next step of your life.  

 

* * *

  
  
  
This is a little embarrassing, even for you to admit. The moment you walked into the center, you knew instantly who you were going to take home. It took a little convincing on Jake’s part, because he didn’t think you were ready, but one look, and you knew. You had to take home three siblings.  Leilani, the oldest by a year, is absolutely beautiful. She has dark brown hair, tanned skin, freckles, and blue eyes. Nicholas, the middle child, has blonde hair, tanned skin, and green eyes. Sebastian, the youngest, has black hair,  pale skin and brown eyes that are positively orange in the light. The chances of finding children who look just like you and Jake were zero to none. But you don’t even care. They’re beautiful, and they’re yours. You finally have a real family. 

 

* * *

  
  
  
“Leila, eat your bananas.”    
  
“No!”  
  
Jake laughs and continues to feed Nicholas his potatoes. “She doesn’t want them, Love. Give her something else.”  
  
You refuse. She’s not leaving her freaking high-chair until she takes at least one bite. You know she’ll love them if she tries one.  Who doesn’t like bananas? “Leila, honey. C’mon. take one little bite for Daddy?”  
  
She shakes her head, the most adorable little pout spreading across her face. “Nuh-uh. You fo’got the magic word!”  
  
“Hmm… Please?”  
  
She grins and opens wide for you and you hurriedly feed her before she can change her mind.    
  
“How does it taste?”   
  
“Yummy!”   
  
You smirk and sit back, looking at Jake smugly, before turning to feed Sebastian.   
  
You were right. _You’re always right._

* * *

  
  
“Daddy? I can’t go to sleep.”   
  
You look up from your book, not expecting the voice. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Nicholas shrugs, and you can see he’s taken the blanket from his crib and wrapped it around his shoulders. “I got bad dreams..”   
  
You try not to smile, even though you’re amused at his choice of words. “Oh yeah? And what do you want me to do about it?”   
  
“Mmm… ‘Merica Ninja!”  Nicholas climbs into your lap, knocking over your book and grabbing for the remote.  You laugh and help him, turning on the tv. He wiggles and kicks excitedly when he sees you turn on an old recording of American Ninja Warrior. The excitement fades gradually, and by the middle of the episode, Nick’s practically asleep on your lap. You kiss his forehead and turn off the t.v., ignoring his sleepy protests. Picking up your book, you begin to read once more, until the day catches up with you, and you drift off.    
  
  


* * *

  
“Jake! Jake! Get the camera! Sebastian’s walking!”  You hold a squirming Nick in your arms, while cooing to Seb, “Come here, baby, you’re doing such a good job.”   
Sebastian toddles slowly, waving his chubby little arms at you as he steps carefully across the floor. He’s gurgling at you happily, as if he can hear your encouragement.   
  
“That’s right, kiddo, once you make it to me, you can have all of the baby food in the world. I know the peaches are your favorite.”   
  
As if disagreeing, Sebby stops 3/4ths of the way from you, flapping his arms in an attempt to stay upright. Eventually, his body can’t take the strain anymore and he plops right down on his behind. His face screws up like he’s about to cry, so you swoop in and grab him, leaving Nicholas to play on the floor. You tap Sebastian’s nose, which makes him giggle and you smile down at him.   
If anyone had told you a month ago that you’d be sprawled out on the floor, chattering to one of your three children like an idiot while they tottered towards you, you’d have called them out on their bs.  As it is, when Jake scrambles around the corner, frantically keeping Leila from eating the cap on the camera, you know that you wouldn’t give any of them up for the world.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K, now we're officially done. This chapter is Haitian, it means My family.  
> Also this chapter seems very disconnected, so sorry about that.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah.. Did you cry? It's ok, I did too. Just a little. Feel free to ask questions, or comment. I love hearing from you guys! :DD  
> This had been sitting in my file for a year under the title "how do u even title abuse?"


End file.
